In this post I will be talking about a few techniques that will show you how to deal with constant rejection in any area of your life.
I would consider rejection a more dangerous thing than a speeding bullet because it weakens the self esteem of an individual to an extent that it can make that person’s life hell.
But, the effect that rejection could have on you depends a lot on your psychological state because for an emotionally healthy person it won’t matter much.
We all have specific areas in our lives where we depend a lot on the opinions of others, this is what makes rejection such a deadly thing. So, our aim should be to shield our inner world from external factors that troubles us.
One has to face the rejections in life and it can come from anywhere like the workplace, family, society, friends, love etc. it is a very natural thing because we don’t have any control over what others think about us but, we do have control over the power which we often give away to them.
Not just average people, even some very popular figures have killed themselves due to the psychological issues resulted from not getting approval from where they needed it badly.
Haven’t you seen how some people who have great skills and capabilities live their lives believing that they are not worthy because they didn’t get love from some particular place?
All this boils down to one thing – It really does not matter who you are or where you are from, the act of constantly seeking approval can destroy your life.
Before we take a look at the ways to face disapproval, let us take a look at the major risks related to it.
Self image is what makes us who we are, these are the set of ideas present in our subconscious mind that describes us, and it controls all our behavioral patterns.
If any external factor like the failure to get approval causes a deep emotional impact, then this self image changes in a negative way.
A deteriorating self image lower one’s self esteem. On the other side a low self esteem also makes one vulnerable to other similar distressing events.
Believing that one is not worthy can push a person into a mentally debilitating state.
There is nothing more emotionally destructive than the voice in a person’s head that continually engages him/her in a negative self talk which causes him to blame and judge himself for getting rejected.
A person who feels unloved forms a victim mentality where he sees the world as his enemy, this change in perspective makes him angry and violent.
People who become a threat to the society are the ones who feel alienated; this illusion of separation is what makes them hostile.
The state of agony kills the intellect of a person. His mind being caught up in unwanted thoughts, loses its ability to function healthily. Senseless thoughts seem more real to them than the real ones.
Many research works say that the agonizing feelings associated to rejection activates the same part of the brain which gets activated when a person feels immense physical pain so, such situations could be much more anguishing for an individual than how it may appear to others.
I know that this is a very difficult thing to do, but it can change your life. We all have a strong need to be seen as a worthy person however we fail to understand that how others see us is about them, not about us.
Just because a few people don’t like apples does not mean that apple is not a good fruit.
Similarly, just because some people failed to see your true value does not mean that you are not worthy.
Most of us frequently get an uncontrollable urge to prove our worth to those who don’t give us approval, just stop yourself from doing that and understand that people use this as an instrument to control others.
Have you seen that some people are least affected from criticism? They are neither flattered nor discouraged from the opinions of others.
These are the people who have learned to love themselves; they have given themselves the approval that others seek outside.
Rejection won’t change a thing in your life if you could develop a deep self love.
People have a misconception about this subject, self love is not selfishness. Practically speaking, you cannot actually spread love if you are not filled with it.
If you start feeling lonely and unloved due to rejection, then immediately find a friend or loved one to talk about it.
People make a mistake of keeping such feelings to themselves, which makes things even worse.
A person who listens to you without judgements can pull you out of such mind states, but make sure to choose someone who is emotionally well.
According to some studies, the pain caused by rejection has its roots in the prehistoric times when it was essential for people to live in groups otherwise they will get killed by predators.
So, one unconscious reason behind such distressing states could be one’s feeling of separation from others that is resulted from various events.
Go to a place where people will welcome you with lots of love, spend time with friends rather than staying alone during such times.
Writing is a very powerful tool that can change our mind states, when I say “writing” I am talking about pen and paper, not typing on your computer.
Make it a daily ritual to jot down all the things that makes you lovable, it could be small or big, but just keep on bringing up as many reasons as possible until you once again start to believe that you deserve love.
When it comes to emotional health, there is nothing more effective than meditation.
If you can sit in silence for a few moments daily it will automatically improve your feelings because this allows you to get closer to your true nature (infinite love).
This particular activity has helped me so much to deal with such circumstances. It is practically impossible to help someone without getting good feelings.
You can do some voluntary service or anything you like that will help others in some way.
Doing something good for the environment like gardening or adopting a pet can also improve your emotional state and most importantly, it will change your focus.
These were some methods do deal with rejections, I would advise you to visit a therapist in case your problem is too serious that you find it difficult to follow these steps.
If you are looking for some spiritual methods for achieving inner peace then I would recommend you to read this post: – Increasing Your Happiness Level-Spiritual Help for Depression
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