In this post, we will focus on getting over bad childhood memories so that we could live peacefully in the present life of ours.
We all have had some kind of painful memories in childhood but hardly anyone of us knows how those past events can affect our current reality.
Although movies and fiction works have exaggerated psychological problems by giving it names like “mommy issues” and “daddy issues” based on why people date certain kind of people, what we must actually understand is that our current life is hugely affected by our childhood.
Yes, of course, this is something very much important for people who have had a terrible childhood but more importantly, even those childhoods that seems like a happy one is not always perfect because many a time we have some long-forgotten painful memories affecting our present life in some way of which we are not aware at all right now. Continue reading
Many people buy the Tibetan singing bowls without knowing the proper way to use it, if you don’t know the right method to play a singing bowl then you will hardly be able to get proper benefits from it.
If you can produce the right sounds using a singing bowl then you can really practice some deep mindfulness exercises because the type of sounds these bowls produces are so beautiful that it helps your mind to focus on the present moment.
Before getting to know about the singing bowls I used to listen to the omharmonics music which are digital sounds designed for deep meditation, but then I started to use these bowls occasionally and I found them very helpful.
The specialty of Tibetan meditation bowls is that it produces a vibrating sound which makes it easy for you to become aware of the silence behind the music.
Not only the sound but also the vibration you can feel in your hand can be used to anchor yourself in the present moment. But you must play it the right way otherwise it will end up as one of the items in your showcase.
That’s why in this post I am going to show you how to play a singing bowl. Continue reading
In this post, I want to share a simple technique that I use for getting rid of repetitive painful thoughts without any visualization, meditation or anything that might be new to you.
The method is very easy to do, but it requires a little patience which you will naturally develop with the practice.
I call this process as de-energizing agony because by doing this we are just stopping ourselves from fueling up these repetitive negative thoughts.
I don’t claim that I created this method; it came to me as an inspiration while I was trying to deal with a bad memory which kept troubling me for more than a year, maybe my subconscious mind found a way to eliminate that unpleasant memory from my system forever and made me aware of this technique. Continue reading
Our conversation with ourselves forms our mindset and that’s why the positive self-talk exercises and activities I am going to share with you in this post can prove out to be very helpful for your emotional health.
Believe it or not, our reality is created by what we think and all our thoughts are born out of the type of beliefs we hold in our subconscious mind, so when you became aware of what is usually going inside your mind and take control of it, you are in the process of changing the set of beliefs that are responsible for who you are today.
In one of my previous posts, I talked about the techniques to overcome low self-esteem in which one method was all about changing self-talks, in this post, I will take it a step further and share with you a few more methods that I use whenever I find myself thinking negatively.
Before working on your communication with yourself I want you to understand that it is perfectly normal to talk with yourself because every person in the world does that.
We all have that voice inside our head that keeps on commenting about everything that happens in our life and when there is nothing interesting going on this same voice will bring up the thoughts of past and future.
This running commentary is always there and you should not try too hard to stop it because the more you will resist it the more powerful it gets. What you can do is use meditational methods to take short breaks from this incessant mind chatter, mindfulness exercises have proven to be extremely helpful for silencing this voice inside their head for people to a great extent.
If meditation is not possible for you then you should somehow stop this mental chatter from being a negative one, positive self-talk activities that I am going to show you in this post will help you to shift your focus from negative thoughts to the positive ones. This way you can have a pleasant conversation with yourself which will not only improve your self-image but it will also make you a happier person.
Everything about our lives depends on the state of our energy and that’s why I am going to provide some very simple aura cleansing techniques here that can be used by anyone.
Our energy is always changing depending on what kind of thoughts, ideologies and beliefs we accept, our reality is created by our energetic state.
So it will prove out to be a very wise step if one focuses towards improving the quality of his energy before he puts some effort in the physical plane.
That’s where energy clearing comes in handy because this process helps you to get rid of any blocks in your aura, thus it allows the life force to flow freely. And when that happens, your desires get manifested easily, your emotional state improves, your health gets better, your finances flourishes and you get into the state of flow.
I have talked about this energy stuff till now, but I understand that this is something very unfamiliar to some people, so I am going to explain it in simple words.
Aura is an invisible energy field that is present all around our physical body; we all have a unique energy system just like our physical bodies. Our reality depends on this energy system, even our physical body conditions are its manifestation.
Various ancient practices have a specific way of working on this energy and it is said that yogis and expert psychics can see people’s aura.
Christie Marie Sheldon, the maker of the “unlimited abundance course” that I highly recommend here on my website claims that she can immediately see people’s energy by just looking at them and identify all the major energy blocks that are causing trouble in their lives.
I know it is weird, but I have seen many benefits of energy clearing sessions, so I know it is all true.
The true state of our energy is nothing but the true divine unconditional love, but due to the blocks caused by the layers of negative or lower energies we are not able to experience that true state.
Our energies get affected in two ways, one is the day to day negative patterns it picks up from other people, places and incidents and the other is the energy patterns created by our deep rooted subconscious beliefs.
It takes time and great effort to clear the latter type of energy patterns, but doing it creates an everlasting positive transformation in our lives. However, the negative energies that we pick up every day should also be cleared because it can result into another limiting subconscious belief.
So one process is like pulling out the weeds in the garden and the other is like maintaining it every day so that it doesn’t grow back.
Aura cleansing is all about taking care of your energy by getting rid of the negativity we pick up from others.
You can know this by watching your emotions, whenever you feel heavy and uncomfortable vibes there is a great chance that your aura is asking for some cleansing activities. That’s when these three techniques will help you: –
I remember my mother always used to tell me as a kid to take a cold water bath whenever I felt gloomy, and now I have realized how right she was because water not only cleans our body but it also helps us to get rid of the unwanted lower energies.
Sea salt is also well known for absorbing negative energies, so one very simple thing you can do for aura cleansing is to mix a cup of sea salt in a bucket and wash your body with it (or in a bathtub).
Additionally, you can also use essential oils, incense sticks and candles to create a good atmosphere.
Using some positive affirmations while bathing can also help, here’s one for example “I now allow the infinite love of the universe to flow freely through me”
Do you know the electrical circuits in our houses are connected to earth? This is done to get rid of the excess electrical charges that could otherwise harm the appliances.
Likewise, there is a spiritual way of grounding as well, which sends all the active negative energies in our aura to earth and here’s how it is done: –
1 – Sit with your back and neck straight
2 – Close your eyes and take a few deep, long breaths.
3 – When you feel relaxed, imagine a golden color light flowing from above into your head.
4 – Feel that this light absorbs all the heaviness and discomfort wherever it goes.
5 – Slowly bring this light from your head to toe by taking it through all your body parts, imagine that it takes away all the negativity from your aura.
6 – When this light reaches your feet, imagine it going down to the earth and thus all this negativity is sent to mother earth who accepts everything happily, thank her for that and slowly open your eyes.
I also use the cutting chords meditation I learned from the love or above course for this purpose, it helps me to cut the bonds I have unconsciously formed with people which drains my energy.
This may appear very simple to you, but don’t make the mistake of judging it because when done properly it has a great effect on your energy.
All you have to do is to take a walk in the nature, it could also be a park near your residence but the atmosphere needs to be serene.
Now here’s the important part, maintain your present moment awareness while doing this by being mindful of the beautiful visions you see, soothing sounds you hear, pleasant smells and the sensations in your body.
Our key purpose behind this is to focus on the present moment so that our mind could get a break from the unwanted thoughts that keep bothering us.
Once you become more present in each moment, you aura naturally gets cleansed.
I hope you enjoyed this post. You can use my favorite methods to perform energy clearing for getting rid of the subconscious blocks.
What are your methods for getting rid of negative energies? What are your views about energy clearing? Share your thoughts with me by commenting below, I would love to hear from you. (Your email id will be safe and hidden, you can even prefer your secondary email id for commenting)
You can also mail me your queries at firstname.lastname@example.org, I will be very happy to help you.
If this post was helpful to you then please spread the word by sharing it on your online social networks.
There is nothing more destructive than a victim mindset. It ruins relationships, it kills marriages, it leads to self-destruction and collectively it also causes wars.
It is hard to know when we fall for the idea of being a victim as it seems so real that we don’t even get a chance to doubt it. Yes, everyone in this world feels like a victim on some level during various phases of their lives, but there are people for whom it has become their ultimate truth.
You cannot make your life beautiful if you harbor the beliefs that tell you that your life is an effect of what the world and society does.
See, when things go wrong, it is natural to feel like a victim, but how your life will get shaped from there depends on whether you choose to be a victim forever or you want to raise above such thoughts.
Victim mindset generates the feelings of anger, fear and hatred which are equally harmful for the individual who sees himself as a victim and those who relate to him.
This post will discuss the causes, symptoms and solutions for this problem; I am not a therapist or psychologist to give you any professional advice on this, but from what I have learned I think I can share a lot of useful information on this with you here.
It indeed matters how good you are at taking the control of your life despite of the voices inside your head that keeps blaming others for your miseries, but there are factors which decide how strong these negative thoughts are going to be. This implies that some people are more vulnerable to such thoughts than others.
What decides your vulnerability against such thoughts is the beliefs present in your subconscious mind which creates your self-image. These beliefs are formed as a result of the type of experiences you had in your childhood and due to the type of ideas you were exposed to as a kid.
Self-image is simply the image of “you” that you hold in your heart, it is what you think you are. People who have a weak self image are very much likely to accept that they are helpless.
See, there are many reasons why a person chooses to be a victim. That’s right, in most cases people choose to be a victim. Why? – Here are some reasons: –
-It gives you an opportunity to gain people’s sympathy and attention. That’s a type of addiction; I have known some people who can go to any extreme to ensure that are being noticed.
-Proving that you are a victim gives you a plethora of excuses to stay in your comfort zone without taking any action.
-Being right, that’s all some people want in life. Trust me, some people can choose “being right” at any cost, even if the price to be paid is a happy life. And obviously, a victim is always right.
-Relief from the burden of taking responsibility. One has to accept his mistakes and make changes that are risky by facing his fears. Why bother? Blame it on someone else and relax.
Those were a few reasons that make some people to live as a victim. Based on the behavior there are basically two types of victims: –
Active Victim – These are people who keep on criticizing the world and others all the time; they don’t like solitude since they want to keep talking about how they are suffering because of others. Such people are too concerned about other people’s opinions about them.
Passive Victim – Such people need some serious help, maybe a therapist or psychologist who could help them to get out of their current mind state. A strong shift in perception is needed otherwise they can cause some real harm to themselves. In such cases, people usually suppress their feelings and prefer to stay isolated and this can result into some serious troubles.
There are few common things about people who have victim mindsets; you can use this to keep a check on your behavior to shield yourself from such beliefs.
People with such mindsets are always looking for reasons to blame others. Their mind always validates such thoughts using various evidences so that they could feel like an unlucky person whose problems are bigger than everyone else.
People with victim mentality always have a certain type of life pattern which keeps on repeating itself, and it brings them the miseries that they can blame on others. They don’t work on their past mistakes, so the same thing happens to them every time.
With a little observation you can actually see how they unconsciously create such circumstances to fortify their beliefs.
As I discussed earlier, active victims love talking negatively about others. They find various subjects, topics and news to prove how evil the world is. One way to detect them quickly is to talk positively because they will either start arguing or they will leave your company if you do that.
Passive victims on the other hand will only share their views with you if you are very close to them, the anger they have been holding in their heart will become evident when they express their thoughts which is all about the grudge they hold against someone specific, society, or even god for causing them the sufferings.
Have you ever seen that some people are not very comfortable to get a lot of good stuff? That is because they think that if good things happen then a bad thing will follow to neutralize it.
A person with a victim mentality usually believes that the truth is always bitter. So they don’t like positivity since they have formed a false notion that positive things and people are fake.
A person with a victim mindset usually live life unconsciously, without paying much attention to their thoughts and behaviors, they act based on what the voices in their head tell them.
So they usually just react to people and situations based on their immediate feelings, people who play power games can easily take advantage of such individuals and then control them.
As we have discussed earlier, people who consider themselves a victim are too concerned about other people’s opinion about them. They want people to look at them and agree that life has been very cruel to them.
This is a straight and simple method. Since blaming others for your problems makes you a victim, by taking the responsibility of what happens to you, you can reverse the process.
You can begin it by becoming more aware of your thoughts and words, so that you could actively avoid your old habits of taking the easy path where you can justify your mistakes by blaming it on others.
I consider it as the most difficult, powerful and imperative thing a person can ever do to rise above the victim thoughts.
What makes forgiving so difficult is that people view it as something they are doing to others; forgiveness is a personal thing where one frees himself from being negatively emotionally attached to someone else or some life event.
Forgiving people and situations that have caused you the troubles enables you to begin a new life.
The most effective technique you can use to overcome such thoughts is meditation, any simple meditation method will work well for making you a more aware person. You can also use mindfulness for focusing on the present moment.
The key here is to increase your present moment awareness since a person feels helpless because he either keeps dwelling in his past or he keeps worrying about his future most of the time.
Learning to live in the present moment gives one a greater control over his life.
There are studies which have shown that people who learn to be grateful for what they have in their life are emotionally healthier than others.
Gratitude is much more than just a feeling, it is a change in perspective.
Expressing one’s gratefulness to the higher power gives a person an opportunity to view life from a better perspective and thus it brings to his awareness the possibilities to which he was oblivious before.
We have already discussed about the self-image; it is the root cause of the victim mindset. All the methods I have discussed till now are just the tip of the iceberg compared to this one.
To change one’s self image a person needs to alter his deep subconscious beliefs, there are many methods available to do this that you can use.
But I recommend energy clearing because it works best for me to remove the limiting beliefs from my inner mind.
Not only for clearing victim beliefs, but any kind of false beliefs that stop you from progressing can be cleared using this method, so you may like to try some of my favorite methods for clearing energy blocks.
I hope you enjoyed this post. What are your views on this? Do you know any other method for eliminating victim mindset? Share your opinions by commenting below, I would love to hear from you. (Your email id will be safe and hidden, you can even prefer your secondary email id for commenting)
You can also email me your queries at email@example.com, I will be very happy to help you.
If this post was helpful to you then please spread the word by sharing it on your online social networks.
If you want to live a peaceful life, then it is very essential for you to build an abundance mindset because everything in our life depends on how we view the world.
With a little awareness of the workings of your mind and actions you can see how you are controlled by the types of beliefs you hold on both innate as well as surface levels.
To a little extent you can even know about how your mind manipulates the information you receive through your senses so that it could validate your convictions.
You can do this by observing your thoughts every now and then, but to realize how your outer world is created by your inner world it takes a lot of persistent efforts. Continue reading
The whole world population can be divided into two categories based on how people view the world, as those with scarcity mindset and the ones who have the abundance mindset.
The scarcity mentality is the cause behind all fear based actions, whereas abundance mentality is what gives rise to the actions that are based on love.
Both types of the thinking are actually two sides of the same coin, it is not necessary that you will fall into one category based on your thoughts about one particular area or phase of your life.
We all adapt one of these two mindsets depending on our life situations, but by knowing it you can deliberately get to the right side by changing your attitude towards life.
Feelings of lack of love, money, good health, etc. keeps on affecting our lives every now and then, however our true success is decided by our ability to overcome such thoughts and see the truth that there is plenty of good stuff available for all of us in the world.
Our beliefs make us who we are and it shapes our reality, so your thoughts will become your truth, and you will have enough evidences to validate that.
Reticular activating system of our brain brings to us the information from our environment that are in accordance to our beliefs and thoughts by filtering all the other information.
So, it becomes essential for you to build an abundance mindset by doing various personal development works and by increasing your alertness or you will fall into the trap of negative thinking which causes all types of miseries in the world.
Before changing your mindset it is essential for you to know the nature of these two mentalities because then only you will be able to discern where you are and where you have to go, and that’s why I am now going to talk about how these two thought systems work.
It is the way in which society conditions people’s mind which creates their opinions about the world. Many a times the mind conditioning done is based on the thought that the universe’s supply is limited, some also call it as the scarcity programming.
This belief system affects all of us in various ways, a very simple and direct way to know how deeply someone is influenced by such thoughts is to identify the state of their emotional health.
Now, let’s take a look at how these thoughts blindfolds people from seeing the good in the world: –
People think whatever gives them joy cannot last long because in order to maintain the balance of good and bad in the universe a person cannot have more than a limited quantity of what makes him happy.
That’s a stupid way of thinking, how could an unending/unlimited universe ever run out of supply? The higher power is an abundant source that can answer all our wishes.
Some people live their life just to get more than what others are getting; they think that if someone else succeeds, they will fail.
Competition is a thing that has ruined many lives because people forget everything else when they are in the race of becoming better than others.
It is true that competition is essential for progress, but when it is based on jealousy (which is true in most cases), it only takes away your inner peace.
Advertisers have been exploiting people for a long time by taking advantage of such mindsets; they make them to buy their products by showing how one can get better than others by using what they are selling.
If a person learns the truth that the concept of “one winner” exists only in our mind while the universe can create win-win situation for everyone, the only competitor who will remain then is one’s own old self.
You should learn as much as possible in school/college because learning ends after that, you should have all the fun as a youngster because you can’t do that in old age, you should marry at a particular age, and you should not spend too much money on yourself after a certain age, blah blah blah.
All these rules were made by people whose thinking was confined by what they have known from the lives of those who lived earlier.
Nothing can decide what you can have, what you can be or what you can do except your own beliefs, you can be like Yuchiro Miura to climb the Mount Everest at the age of 70 or you can sit in your house waiting for death at that age.
I learned something very important about money in T. Have Eker’s Spiritual Laws of Money program. It was the fact that people who save their money without spending it at all and those who spend it excessively are both doing it due a deep psychological reason.
Anyhow, this basically is all about the belief that wealth is limited in the world, so those who fear that there may come a time when they will stop having money keep saving it for the rainy day, whereas those who believe that if they don’t use their money quickly something will happen to it, spends it as soon as they get it.
Such people also fear investing their money because they are afraid that money will go away from them to others in one or the other way.
A talk about limited wealth mindset is incomplete without a subconscious belief which keeps some people poor and creates miseries for the rich; it is the belief that “if you have more money than required wealth, then you are responsible for the poverty in the world”.
Due to this belief that is working at a deeper level of people’s mind, poor people unconsciously act in a way to not get rich, whereas the wealthy guys suffer emotionally because of the problems created by their mind.
So far we have seen how scarcity mindset can make life difficult for people, it takes away their inner peace, hope and love for life, on the other hand, there is another way of living which makes your life beautiful and we are now going to take a look at how this way of thinking works.
People talk about becoming happier in the future when they will have what they want, but those who have learned to see life as a field of unlimited possibilities are happy most of the time because they have realized that “joy creates more joy” and everything else is just the icing on the cake.
People who are open to receive the good that universe has to offer never stop trying to make their dreams come true because they know that it is not at all necessary what we want will come through the door we expect, one should keep their mind open always.
One who is aware of the unconditional love that the higher power has for everyone, never stops sharing his gifts with others. These type of people know that giving makes room for more and this allows them to enjoy their life with their loved ones unlike people who hide under the bed to eat their cookie alone.
Unlike people who set their goals based on their ego needs which always has something to do with what other people have achieved, those who believe in the unlimited supply always select their goals based on what they truly want.
If you will view the world as a field of limitless possibilities, you will understand that there no right or wrong time for doing anything that makes you happy.
You can either play by the rules of your society and worry about what others might think of you or you can do what you think is right. Trust me, most of them are waiting for someone to blaze a trail.
This is where many people may find it difficult to agree with me and I understand it well because I would too would have felt it disgusting to hear something like that in the past.
But from what I have learned from my personal development journey and some awesome programs like “the unlimited abundance course” and Harv Eker’s program that I mentioned earlier, I have realized that earning money is just a matter of what beliefs you hold about wealth in your subconscious mind since it sets your behavioral patterns accordingly.
I am not going to talk about how one’s relationship with money decides their financial state in this post as it is not the point of discussion here, I just want to say that people with abundant mentality know that money too is present in abundance in this world and it is people’s own attitude towards it which blocks the flow of wealth in their life.
People who believe in the infinite source don’t hoard or spend money excessively; they use it at the right place where it can bring joy or comfort to them. They don’t either have any kind of guilt in their hearts about having too much wealth.
I would like to end this post by saying it again that everything about your life is decided by what kind of attitude you have towards it and that’s why I would suggest you to read my next post “building abundance mindset“.
I hope you enjoyed this post. What are your thoughts on this? Do you agree with me that changing mindset can change one’s life? Share your views by commenting below, I would highly appreciate that. (Your email id will be safe and hidden, you can even prefer your secondary email id for commenting)
You can also mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org, I will be very happy to help you.
If this post was helpful to you then please spread the word by sharing it on your online social networks.
It is essential for us to understand the factors that causes money issues in relationships because without this knowledge we may invite a lot of problems in our lives.
Most of the unsuccessful marriages usually have a lot to do with their financial situations; sometimes it is obvious whereas in most cases, people don’t actually know that the real reason behind the conflict is money.
I am not saying that money is to be blamed for the hatred that arises in the hearts of people for others, actually “money” as an entity has nothing to do with it, the subconscious beliefs that people hold about wealth is what creates the distance.
What’s more interesting is that often people’s inner mind creates many false reasons for them to fight with others and it never really seems like anything related to money.
I too never had any awareness of this before I opted for T. Harv Eker’s spiritual laws of money program, that course contains a whole module on this particular subject.
In this post I will be sharing with you a few things that will help you to improve your relationships with others by working on your “money blueprint “ as Harv puts it.
I am pretty much sure that many of you might have thought that I am talking about the desire to get rich, that also counts, but I am mainly talking about the tons of other ways you connect with others “financial wise” which also includes the hatred of money.
It is nearly impossible for a person who has no knowledge of his inner world to know what subconscious beliefs create his attitude towards wealth, his money mindset is one of the biggest factors that decide what type of people he will connect with and any change in this attitude will directly affect those relationships.
Your innate thoughts about money not only decide your financial situation, but it plays a big role in your personal and professional relationships.
So what can we do about it? Let see..
You will have to leave those people who don’t really matter much in your life when their behavior towards you changes due to some kind of change in your financial situation because their hatred for you in that case would be due to their own psychological issues.
But, often there are deep, meaningful bonds that you might want to work on and this is a process that requires the efforts from both sides.
I am especially talking about marriages, with a careful analysis of the past you can know what beliefs create yours and your partner’s attitude towards wealth.
For example, a person might like to save a lot due a childhood experience where they faced financial scarcity during the time when they needed money the most, on the other hand his/her partner may have a habit of excessive spending, which might be due to an unconscious belief “money creates troubles” so they try to get rid of it as soon as they earn it.
Once you have come up with a proper belief list from both sides, you can work on changing it using affirmations, creative visualizations or energy clearing.
You can become each others assistant for doing this, and making action wise change is also important, like the spender will learn to save and vice versa.
In your family, you may be either unconsciously following the financial path of your parents and authority figures or you might be trying to prove their ways wrong, so in this case you should try to understand that you have complete freedom to choose a higher purpose for earning money than that. This will not only improve your family bonds, but it will also improve your financial situation.
When it comes to friendships, it is very essential that you should keep a watch that it should not be dependent on money in any way, you should neither be acting as a financial help for someone (unless they are in a serious need) nor you should be leveraging the comforts provided by a rich friend, because in both the cases it becomes a business of fellowship after sometime.
As I have mentioned before, to change these money related problems in your relationships you have to work on your inner world. For that you can use my favorite methods for clearing energy blocks.
I hope you enjoyed this post. What are your views on this? How have seen your relationships changing after a shift in your financial state? Share your opinions by commenting below, I would love to hear from you. (Your email id will be safe and hidden, you can even prefer your secondary email id for commenting)
You can also email me your queries at email@example.com, I will be very happy to help you.
In this post I will be talking about a few techniques that will show you how to deal with constant rejection in any area of your life.
I would consider rejection a more dangerous thing than a speeding bullet because it weakens the self esteem of an individual to an extent that it can make that person’s life hell.
But, the effect that rejection could have on you depends a lot on your psychological state because for an emotionally healthy person it won’t matter much.
We all have specific areas in our lives where we depend a lot on the opinions of others, this is what makes rejection such a deadly thing. So, our aim should be to shield our inner world from external factors that troubles us.
One has to face the rejections in life and it can come from anywhere like the workplace, family, society, friends, love etc. it is a very natural thing because we don’t have any control over what others think about us but, we do have control over the power which we often give away to them.
Not just average people, even some very popular figures have killed themselves due to the psychological issues resulted from not getting approval from where they needed it badly.
Haven’t you seen how some people who have great skills and capabilities live their lives believing that they are not worthy because they didn’t get love from some particular place?
All this boils down to one thing – It really does not matter who you are or where you are from, the act of constantly seeking approval can destroy your life.
Before we take a look at the ways to face disapproval, let us take a look at the major risks related to it.
Self image is what makes us who we are, these are the set of ideas present in our subconscious mind that describes us, and it controls all our behavioral patterns.
If any external factor like the failure to get approval causes a deep emotional impact, then this self image changes in a negative way.
A deteriorating self image lower one’s self esteem. On the other side a low self esteem also makes one vulnerable to other similar distressing events.
Believing that one is not worthy can push a person into a mentally debilitating state.
There is nothing more emotionally destructive than the voice in a person’s head that continually engages him/her in a negative self talk which causes him to blame and judge himself for getting rejected.
A person who feels unloved forms a victim mentality where he sees the world as his enemy, this change in perspective makes him angry and violent.
People who become a threat to the society are the ones who feel alienated; this illusion of separation is what makes them hostile.
The state of agony kills the intellect of a person. His mind being caught up in unwanted thoughts, loses its ability to function healthily. Senseless thoughts seem more real to them than the real ones.
Many research works say that the agonizing feelings associated to rejection activates the same part of the brain which gets activated when a person feels immense physical pain so, such situations could be much more anguishing for an individual than how it may appear to others.
I know that this is a very difficult thing to do, but it can change your life. We all have a strong need to be seen as a worthy person however we fail to understand that how others see us is about them, not about us.
Just because a few people don’t like apples does not mean that apple is not a good fruit.
Similarly, just because some people failed to see your true value does not mean that you are not worthy.
Most of us frequently get an uncontrollable urge to prove our worth to those who don’t give us approval, just stop yourself from doing that and understand that people use this as an instrument to control others.
Have you seen that some people are least affected from criticism? They are neither flattered nor discouraged from the opinions of others.
These are the people who have learned to love themselves; they have given themselves the approval that others seek outside.
Rejection won’t change a thing in your life if you could develop a deep self love.
People have a misconception about this subject, self love is not selfishness. Practically speaking, you cannot actually spread love if you are not filled with it.
If you start feeling lonely and unloved due to rejection, then immediately find a friend or loved one to talk about it.
People make a mistake of keeping such feelings to themselves, which makes things even worse.
A person who listens to you without judgements can pull you out of such mind states, but make sure to choose someone who is emotionally well.
According to some studies, the pain caused by rejection has its roots in the prehistoric times when it was essential for people to live in groups otherwise they will get killed by predators.
So, one unconscious reason behind such distressing states could be one’s feeling of separation from others that is resulted from various events.
Go to a place where people will welcome you with lots of love, spend time with friends rather than staying alone during such times.
Writing is a very powerful tool that can change our mind states, when I say “writing” I am talking about pen and paper, not typing on your computer.
Make it a daily ritual to jot down all the things that makes you lovable, it could be small or big, but just keep on bringing up as many reasons as possible until you once again start to believe that you deserve love.
When it comes to emotional health, there is nothing more effective than meditation.
If you can sit in silence for a few moments daily it will automatically improve your feelings because this allows you to get closer to your true nature (infinite love).
This particular activity has helped me so much to deal with such circumstances. It is practically impossible to help someone without getting good feelings.
You can do some voluntary service or anything you like that will help others in some way.
Doing something good for the environment like gardening or adopting a pet can also improve your emotional state and most importantly, it will change your focus.
These were some methods do deal with rejections, I would advise you to visit a therapist in case your problem is too serious that you find it difficult to follow these steps.
If you are looking for some spiritual methods for achieving inner peace then I would recommend you to read this post: – Increasing Your Happiness Level-Spiritual Help for Depression
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