The Mirror Method for Building Self-Confidence and Self-Love
In a previous post long ago, I discussed mirror gazing meditation (Mirror Trataka), and in this article, I will introduce a simple ritual that I have personally developed to enhance self-confidence. Although it is not a traditional meditation method, it merges spiritual insights with techniques that I have previously utilized. Practiced with wholehearted commitment, this approach has the potential to significantly transform your self-perception and outlook on life.
So, this isn’t your typical mirror-gazing meditation. No need to stress about trying to stay super focused on your reflection or avoiding distractions. Instead, it’s a straightforward ritual inspired by popular personal development techniques like mirror work and positive self-talk. Plus, it takes a page from an ancient Hawaiian ritual, which I will dive into in this post later on. I am not here to guarantee it’ll work for everyone. I am just sharing an exercise I personally have used and have seen benefits from, hoping it might do the same for you.
How I Began to Use This Powerful Ritual
In one of his iconic speeches, the legendary figure in the field of self-improvement, Bob Proctor (may his soul rest in peace), whose work initially inspired me on my personal development journey, discussed a powerful ritual related to altering one’s self-image.
According to Bob Proctor, this ritual was something taught to Napoleon Hill (the author of the book “Think and Grow Rich“) by Dale Carnegie. The process involves mentally or verbally repeating a statement involving a person who inspires you, twice a day for at least 30 days. For instance, if your goal is to become a successful stock trader and your idol is Warren Buffett, you’d look into the mirror and say something like, “Warren Buffett, I’m not only going to match your achievements in life, but I’m going to challenge you at the post and surpass you at the grandstand.” This exercise is impactful, and while I won’t disclose the name I used, rest assured that the day I surpass that figure, you will know for sure, lol!
You can watch the speech where Bob Proctor mentions this particular ritual below(I have set it to start from the portion where he mentions this particular statement):-
So, I began using a statement similar to what Bob Proctor mentioned while looking in the mirror for a while after I saw that speech, which was a long time ago. However, somewhere along the way, I stopped following that ritual. Years later, I remembered it, and by then, I had acquired knowledge about many mind tools and had used a plethora of methods and programs. This led me to create a method of my own that has effectively improved my self-confidence. Now, I am excited to share this method with you, but before I do, I want to discuss something important about our subconscious mind and how it shapes our attitude toward life.
What Is Responsible for Our Behavioural Patterns?
Who is responsible for our behavior? That question might seem absurd to you because we know that our behavior is controlled by us, okay, so we have the free will to respond in a certain way or choose not to. But what about the times when we make decisions during important life situations? Are we still exercising that free will during those moments, or are our choices influenced by something deeper?
Why do you think people continue to engage in actions that do not work for them? Why do people enter new relationships, only to find that they are not much different from the previous ones? Don’t we all have similar patterns in our lives that keep repeating themselves?
An aware individual knows that we are actually not as free to act as it may seem. People who practice mindfulness exercises are aware that there is a continuous self-talk going on in our minds, which is mostly responsible for our actions. Our thoughts are responsible for our behavior, but these thoughts are not random. At least, the thoughts upon which we act are not random; instead, they are born from the deep layers of beliefs present in our subconscious mind.
To change our life situations, these behavioral patterns must be altered, which requires changing the limiting beliefs present in our inner mind. Only then can a significant transformation occur in one’s life. That’s why most of the best personal development programs I am aware of aim to achieve this in one way or another.
However, when it comes to self-confidence and how we perceive ourselves, these limiting beliefs once again play a crucial role. This is where you need to understand what self-image is. Let’s talk about that now.
The Self-Image
Do you know that the way we think others perceive us and how we believe “the world” views us is often a significant self-deception? In reality, we have no way of truly knowing what anybody thinks about us because their perceptions are shaped by their unique experiences and are highly subjective.
While we can make some inferences from what others say or the information we receive through various means, the image we believe others hold of us is, in fact, a version of our own self-image. Our self-image is our personal opinion about ourselves, residing in our inner mind. In simpler terms, it’s a belief we’ve developed and identified with. It’s somewhat like an idol in a sacred temple, believed to be responsible for everything. But what if I told you that the real power lies within the heart of the worshiper rather than the object of worship?
All the thoughts, notions, and beliefs you’ve gathered from your life experiences up to this point have shaped your self-image, which serves as the center of your entire life. What you consider to be true about yourself is reflected in every aspect of your life. Any change, whether positive or negative, in this self-image can significantly impact all aspects of your life!
The Method – Magic Mirror On The Wall!
The quote is not “mirror mirror on the wall.” by the way, if you used to say it incorrectly like me (that’s another mind-boggling concept known as the Mandela effect), what do you say to yourself in the mirror? Probably nothing, it’s weird, but in our minds we often do.
In truth, what we say to ourselves while looking at our mirror reflection has the power to reach our subconscious mind. It’s a great way to plant suggestions in our inner mind, which can further alter our self-image. That’s why Bob Proctor’s statement, which we discussed earlier, is so powerful. Just try looking into your mirror image’s eye and say a powerful affirmation. It is far more effective than saying it the regular way. This is why in this method, we will be using our mirror image as a representation of our self-image to communicate with our inner mind.
In this method, instead of using affirmations, we will incorporate four simple statements from the ancient Hawaiian method called the Ho’oponopono process to work on our self-image. Here’s how it’s done:
1 – Stand in front of the mirror and ensure there are no distractions.
2 – Gaze at your mirror image and closely observe your thoughts. Also, pay attention to any associated feelings, even if you aren’t having specific thoughts.
3 – The moment you catch yourself thinking negatively about yourself or experiencing a negative feeling while looking at your mirror image, close your eyes and repeat to yourself, “I love you,” “I am sorry,” “Please forgive me,” and “Thank you.”
4 – Now, open your eyes and look into your mirror image’s eyes while saying “I love you” a few times.
5 – Repeat this process until you start feeling better.
In the beginning, doing this may seem a little strange, but with time, you will gain a better understanding of the process. The four statements used here are actually healing statements from the ancient Hawaiian method, which you can learn more about in the post I have written on the updated Ho’oponopono method. In that post, I explain how these statements help release past memories that have led to certain beliefs responsible for our negative thoughts and feelings. The forgiveness we seek in this process is from a higher power or our higher self for thinking the thoughts that have prevented us from embracing the infinite love of the universe that we deserve.
Continuing this practice for a considerable period will empower you to nurture feelings of unconditional love for your life and yourself, and this positivity will shine through in all your endeavors. I highly recommend reading the post about this Hawaiian healing method that I mentioned and incorporating it as a ritual for a while. I am confident that you will experience a positive shift in your perspective and gain newfound self-confidence to pursue your life goals.
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