Positive Self-Talk for Children – 5 Tips for Best Results

If you are someone who knows the importance of personal development then you might be well aware that positive self-talk can play a vital role to help children build a healthy self-esteem.positive thinking for children

In my post on self-esteem building exercises, I have discussed how our life depends on the self-image we have formed in our subconscious mind.

There are many ways using which you can change these beliefs present in your inner mind that make you who you are now, but since our childhood has a lot to do with how we see ourselves innately, you can help kids to have the right mindset for achieving success in their life.

Though it is easy to formulate the self-talk that an adult can use, it often is very confusing to teach the same to kids because their way of thinking is very different from us, so we need a method that is most appropriate for them.

Here I will share with you some tips, examples, and techniques to teach positive self-talk to children based on what I have learned from some very good sources.

A Few Things You Must Know about Kid’s Mind

Before we discuss how to teach this method to kids, I want you to understand some important things about how children’s mind works.

Small kids cannot make use of the self-talks because their mind is not developed enough to take control, so they form their beliefs based on what kind of thoughts people pass on to them, the same holds true for the big kids (after the age of 4 on an average) but they can implement the self-talk exercises on their own.

Kids have a few authority figures in their life, these people can be from that child’s family or society, these are people whom they trust and follow. So, if you are an authority figure to a kid, which means if they connect with you deeply that your thoughts can affect their mind, then only these types of personal development activities can work well.

Of course, parents always play this role if they have been with their kids while they were growing up, but do you remember a coach, a teacher or someone who used to have a great impact on your mind? There are some people from my childhood in front of whom I still feel like a kid, those are the authority figures.

More important than what you teach them is to live according to it, kids can get affected by your thoughts and emotions, so pretending does not work well.

Teaching Positive Self-Talk to Kids

1 – Observe Them

Keep an eye on the kid whom you want to teach this particular method and communicate with them enough to find out what type of beliefs they are forming, based on this you will be deciding what type of self-talk would be right for them.

Watch what their strengths and weaknesses are so that you could make a sense of what beliefs are lowering their faith in their own abilities.

2 – Correct Them

When you hear them saying something negative like “I cannot do this”, “I am a loser”, “I am not good at sports” etc. Tell them that their own thoughts are the reason behind their failure in any particular area.

Teach them that repeated usage of positive thoughts can work like a magic and then offer them a new statement that they can use whenever they have those types of thoughts again.

For example, if they say “I am a loser”, ask them to say something like “I am a winner, I am not going to stop trying until I win because I know I can do this”. (That’s a very empowering thought isn’t it? I felt so positive as I was writing it)

Also, keep in mind to not force something on them, if they are being negative because they don’t like doing something then just simply try to make them understand the importance of that particular thing first and also give them enough freedom to decide after that.

3 – Encourage Them to Use the Method

Telling them what is needed to be done is not enough, you need to keep a check on whether they are implementing what you have taught or not.

You need to patiently remind them that they are using the same type of words again and not doing what you told them.

Some people get frustrated here, but you need to be persistent in encouraging them to use these affirmations because even we adults need reminders for such things then how can we expect little kids to learn a new habit quickly?

4 – Motivate and Believe

This is probably the most important thing, the magic lies in believing and not just in words. How can you help someone to believe in their own abilities? By believing in them!

I repeat..How can you help someone to believe in their own abilities? – By believing in them!

I used to be very weak in mathematics as a kid, but then this one day a new teacher came to our class on whom I had some very good first impressions by answering a few questions.

positive affirmation kids

She was shocked to see my poor scores and thought that I am capable of achieving much more than that, she believed me to be a bright student who has lost his way, that year I performed so well that even the top scorers were afraid of me.

This is a lot like how the beliefs of Morpheus and Trinity affected Neo in the movie matrix, though we are not inside a Matrix (hopefully :X), our mind works exactly like that.

So when you ask them to do a positive self–talk, you must also believe in it, like in our above example “I am a winner, I am going not going to stop…”, you should believe that the kid can accomplish their goal without doubts. You should motivate them in the moments they are not feeling positive by saying something like “You are a winner, I know you are and it is possible for you!”

5 – Take It Easy

When it comes to kids, always make sure that you are not imposing something forcefully on them, motivating them is a different thing and putting them under pressure is another.

So when you ever feel that this whole self-talk thing seems like they are doing it not for themselves but for you, ease things up and let them know that you love them as they are.

This should not become something they do for your approval because that could result in another psychological problem where they will start to accomplish things in order to get approval from other people rather than for their own happiness.


So these were a few things I have learned from my research. I am so interested in spreading the awareness of personal development among children. If you too are like me, then you may also want read my post – Personal Development of Kids

I hope you liked this post. I would love to hear your views about this so please do leave me a comment in the box below. (Your email id will be safe and hidden, you can even prefer your secondary email id for commenting)

You can also mail me at hari@zerotoinfinitude.com

If this post was helpful to you then please spread the word by sharing it on your online social networks.

8 thoughts on “Positive Self-Talk for Children – 5 Tips for Best Results

  1. Kevin Bulmer

    I love seeing anything that helps encourage positive self-talk for anyone, and children especially. Affirming what we DO want and teaching our kids how to empower themselves with their own thoughts and beliefs is so, so important. Keep up the great work!

  2. JohannHR

    Positive Self-Talk for Children is so important. To be honest, I think it´s vital for all ages for children it´s crucial to build up their self-confidence for the future.
    About the point 2, to correct them. Is that not the most tricky part but on same time even most important. To take the sports part, you talk abut, more and more sports coaches have now taken up when the children talk about he or she played poorly to say with it; I think you played well. But if it something you wanted to do better in the game, what would it be?
    The idea is that the children not think negative about it, but on same time think how it could do better in a positive way. Are you agree with this method in the point 2?

    1. HARI

      Yeah, that’s a good suggestion but that would be for big kids or even teenagers who have already formed some beliefs because then only they start to worry about the details of their overall abilities, however, there is a huge iceberg of subconscious beliefs that makes them think negatively and when you reach that state you simply cannot help them with generic statements so you try to help them in shifting their perspective.

      But when we talk about little children who are yet to form notions like that, we correct them by giving them direct suggestions..their negativity is not that deep so they use general statements that they might have picked from other people like “I am a loser”..sometimes it is so funny to hear these little sweet innocent beings saying things without even knowing the actual meaning, that’s when we give them a generic powerful affirmation..so we are not asking them to believe in something instead we are laying the foundation for what types of future mindset they will form.

  3. reyestee

    great post! I will try this method on my 11 year old son. He’s my only child and I want the best for him. But sometimes I feel like I’m putting too much pressure and stress on him. I want to have a positive influence on my son. This is helpful advice. Thank you

    1. HARI

      Putting pressure always works counter productively because we can never teach them something positive with a negative approach. You can definitely have a positive influence on him by being a good example, they learn from us not what we want to teach them but how we actually carry ourselves.

      We can observe this for ourselves with a little awareness, we have so many inherited qualities that were never taught to us directly and whatever was force fed to us never had such a deep impact on us.

  4. Harjit

    Hi Hari thanks for this great post. I have two young children and I find what you have written really interesting and helpful. There are some things you have written which my wife and I do to help our children such as when they start to be negative on themselves but there are also things which we haven’t done and we will start to do.

    Thanks for this. I believe this will help a lot of parents.

    1. HARI

      Nice to know that not only our names are similar but our thoughts also. Only conscious and aware people can understand this content and I am so happy that you are already familiar to this, I really hope this content will be useful to you in what you are already doing and also to other parents like you who know that real change happens internally.

      Thanks a lot for the appreciation


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